When God Says Go...

It can somtimes happen at the worst times, God says yes to something that we wanted to hear a no about. So here comes a really long blog probably.

So I went to the same school my whole life until 5th grade, I moved and I hated every second of school after that. In 7th grade, I literally cried before bed every night. I didn't want to go to school, I couldn't stand it. I would go, and I would pretty much shut myself off from everybody, I had no desire to be there at all.

Of course I had one thing I wanted more than ANYTHING, I wanted cyber schooled. I spent my whole 7th grade year begging  to be cyberschooled, over and over, night after night, tear after tear. Finally my dad was convinced, I was SO happy. I remember the last day of 7th grade, I walked out thinking, "I'll never be back in a school again." I had the biggest smile on my face, as far as I was concerned, I was on top of the world.

In 8th grade, I did cyber school for the whole year. Sometimes during the year I would feel that little tug on my heart to go back to school, but I ignored it. That was the last thing I wanted to hear right now, and I completely blew it off. I barely finished the 8th grade, it was an awful school year in general.

Now this year, I started the 9th grade in cyber school. Right before the school year started, I slept over Kami's house one night with Dara. We were talking about school and I said, "I kinda want to go back." WHAT?! I literally couldn't believe what I just told them, all I could think is, "Why the heck did I say that?" I thought to myself that I thought about going back before and the thought had gone away.

This time something inside of me felt different. The thought of going back to school never went away. I was so confused, because I didn't want this at all. One night at Incline, Ms. Lisa had been talking about her marathon she ran and how her motto was Phillipians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Later that night during worship, I felt God's presence upon me SO strongly. I could hear Him telling me that going back to school is what He wanted me to do.

I fell on my knees and I finally accepted what God had been trying to show me for so long. This world is full of people who need to hear the name of Jesus. I could go to Mexico, El Salvador, Haiti, Africa, Russia, Guatamala. I could go anywhere but I was forgetting that everyday I'm on a missions trip. You don't have to go to a 3rd world, poverty stricken country to be a missionary. You can walk out the door and be on a m ission's trip.

My thoughts were always that I couldn't be the missionary go has called me to be for a long time, but I was wrong.

Phillipians 4:13

"I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who strengthens me."