12 days ago I left for San Luis. I got there and walked into the orphanage and saw a little girl's jaw drop, it was Eliza. She screamed, "Betani!!!" And ran as fast as she could until she landed in my arms. So much joy in that moment, and seeing her smile was the most beautiful thing in the world. As I walked further into the orphanage more and mor kids gave me welcoming hugs and kisses on my cheek. They did what they always do and immeadietly started saying, "Dulce! Tu Amiga!" She walked out and smiled when she saw me. As she hugged me she laughed as if she couldn't believe I was there. My heart was full.
We spend the week around the orphanage, helping with school, loving on kids, and doing other out reaches throughout the city. A lot of time was spent just loving the kids though, the thing that I want to do for the rest of my life. The days went slow, but the week ended up going fast. Before I knew it we were in line to say goodbye to the kids. They gave hugs and smiles that could make you want to cancel your flight and stay forever. After that I was with Eliza and Dulce, giving as much love as I could to them to fill the void while I was away. I then found one the little girls I had spent a lot of time with that week, Valeria, sitting with a few people who were trying to get her to stop crying.
When I saw her beautiful brown eyes look at me with tears pouring out of them my heart broke in two. I held out my arms and she fell into them oh so helplessly. I picked her up and just walked around with her in my arms for a little and then I carried her over to a bench and sat down with her on my lap, her little arms refusing to let go of me. I promised through my now teary eyes that I loved her so much and that I would be back to see her. She nodded as I promised her that and wiped her tears away. I kissed her on the forehead and held her until it was time for her to go to bed. We went and said goodnight to the girls and they reassured us over and over that they would be awake to say goodbye in the morning.
And they sure were, I woke up the next morning and heard someone say, "The girls are downstairs waiting for us." After packing up all my stuff I went down to sit with the girls. We sat, talked, laughed, and joked. We were with them for about an hour or so and then it was time to go. I hugged Eliza goodbye and she went back to bed. I held Dulce's hand as we walked to the stairs leading to the girls room. We stood there for about 20 minutes and just hugged each other as tight as we could. As I held her the tears came from both of our eyes, we said the last good byes and I love you's and held hand as we walked away from each other until we had to let go. I turned around and we blew kisses to each other. And that was that, I said goodbye to her and I said goodbye to my heart because I left it there.
And now I'm at my house, in tears, upset, and I can't help but wonder what I should even do. Where do I even go from here? My heart is there and I am here. I am here just waiting for an opportunity to jump on a plane and go back there. Waiting to graduate high school so I can just move there. I miss everything about San Luis. My heart is broken.
So...where do I even go from here?
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